I already told you. [ He doesn't sound as angry as he does defeated, forcing his legs to cooperate so their trip isn't slowed by his uselessness. Castiel fights the nausea long enough to look at him, try to understand what it is Dean must see in him now because he surely sees nothing. Nothing but the remains of something better, something greater than this.

They reach the door, and he rests his hand against it for more support. ]

Besides, you were far too busy to notice. What did it matter what I chose to do with my body, Dean? [ He mumbles the rest like a confession, abruptly feeling disconnected. ] It was the only good thing I had left.